Migrations: Wild Swan Deleted Scenes and Outtakes
by ScarlettLetters
Summary: Extras from my story Wild Swan. Various characters. Rated M for a future Jalice lemon!
1. Deleted Scene: Bella at the airport

**AN: This is a scene that takes place as Bella is waiting for her flight to Seattle. I never decided if it was Midway or O'Hare, but anyway, she's had a hell of a day if you recall. She's signed her divorce papers, left her job, and her home for the last seven years. Girlfriend needs a break, but I had one more sliver to drive into her heart. Unfortunately it didn't fit with the flow of Chapter 5. I wanted the transition to EPOV to start just after she leaves. Alas, what is a poor scribe to do? Why, share it with you as a deleted scene, of course. Enjoy.**

~*~

I settled into a seat near the gate as I waited for my flight to Seattle to board. There had been a slight delay due to high winds; a tornado watch had even been issued. Leaving the Midwest and its schizophrenic weather would be a nice respite for me. I set the venti, non-fat, no whip mocha next to me on an open chair and opened my satchel to look for one of the many magazines I was certain Alice had packed. As I dug around I felt the sharp edge of a box. Perplexed, I pulled the mysterious item out.

I turned the dark brown box over in my hands and noted its solid weight and thick orange satin ribbon wrapped around it. Slidding the ribbon off, I slowly lifted the lid. I pushed aside the orange tissue paper and gasped at what lay in the box-- a beautiful leather bound book with a gorgeous embossed swan on the cover. Alice must have bought me a journal. Her thoughtfulness made me smile as I lifted the book out and opened the cover. Instead of the "_XOXO, Alice_" I expected to see on the opening page, the actual words forced a sob from my throat and caused my vision to blur.

~*~

_**December 12, 1996**_

_My attempts to pack my duffel for my holiday visit to Jacksonville were not going well. Edward was sitting on the bed removing each item as it went into the bag._

"_Would you stop it!" I laughed._

"_What?"_ _He smiled at me impishly._

"_I have to pack, Edward. You don't want me to walk around Jacksonville naked, do you?"_

_He narrowed his eyes at me. "Of course not. I want you to walk around naked here_ _with me."_

_I set the t-shirts I had in my hand down and knelt in front of him. "I don't want to go. You know that. You know that if I could see my mom any other time, I'd stay here."_

_He ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh. "I know. I'm being a prick. I'm sorry." He reached forward and wrapped me up in his familiar embrace. Laying back, he pulled me on top of him, and I placed a gentle kiss on his lips. _

"_You're not being a prick. You're just being Edward." I tried to keep a straight face, but I couldn't, especially after he began assaulting my sides with his fingers. _

"_Take it back! Take it back, Bella." He teased me with his velvet voice. _

"_OK, OK! I take it back," I laughed. He brought me closer to him and began placing open mouth kisses on my neck. It felt heavenly, and I moaned both my appreciation and regret; I really did need to pack._

"_Nice try, lover boy, but I have to finish this tonight. I have to leave after my last final, and you know I won't be coherent in the morning."_

_He rested his forehead on my shoulder and nodded slowly. "I want to do something first though. Sit." He gently untangled us and moved away from the bed._

_As I watched him walk over to my desk and retrieve his backpack, I thought about how lucky I was to be his girlfriend. We had been inseparable for the past year. After the awful first Thanksgiving, we both had decided that we were in this for the long haul no matter what anyone else thought and just focused on loving each other. I hadn't regretted that decision for a single minute. My musings were interrupted as he pulled out a brightly wrapped box with a shiny silver bow._

"_EDWARD!" I screeched. "You promised! No gifts until after I get back." _

_He flashed his crooked smile at me. "I'm sorry. Well, no, I'm not. I couldn't wait to give this to you." He sat next to me and placed the beautifully wrapped box in my lap._

_I slapped him playfully on the shoulder and carefully took off the bow. Sliding my finger under the wrapping paper, I gasped when I saw what was inside._

_**Collected Poems of Edna St. Vincent Millay**_

"_Oh, Edward!" _

"_So it's alright that I gave this to you early," he smirked._

"_Yes! I love it. Thank you," I sighed as I leaned over and kissed him deeply._

_I couldn't believe he remembered how much I loved her poetry._ _Pulling away from the kiss with an excited giggle, I began flipping through the white covered book in awe._

"_I figured you could use an upgrade." He jutted his chin out toward my nightstand. My very worn and tattered copy of a selection of Edna St. Vincent Millay's poetry sat near my alarm. I had bought it at a yard sale for a dime when I was twelve. I had since devoured its contents and the margins were covered with my thoughts. Tape was even holding the cover together in several places. It had lived a good life. I ran my hand down the pristine cover of Edward's gift and felt the warm tears slide down my face._

_Throwing my arm around his neck, I whispered, "I love you."_

_He pulled me back and brought his lips to mine, placing a slow kiss upon them. He moved back a bit so our eyes could meet. "I love you too, Bella. So much."_

_I smiled as I turned my attention back to the book. Opening the cover, I began to flip to the Table of Contents but my eye caught Edward's elegant script on the title page._ _I looked up at him, and he shrugged. Turning my gaze back to the page, I began reading: _

_**"And all the loveliest things there be**_

_**Come simply, so, it seems to me."**_

_**Bella ~**_

_**You are the loveliest thing I've ever seen.**_

_**All of my love,**_

_**Edward**_

_**Christmas 1996**_

~*~

An announcement over the loudspeaker jolted me back to my reality as I ran my hand gently over the page in front of me. Edward's gift had become so important to me over the years. All my free time in Jacksonville that Christmas had been spent reading the entire book cover to cover. While Renee complained about the lack of mother-daughter mall time, I sat on her and Phil's deck and lost myself in Millay's words. Even when I changed my major and focused on statistics and historical world financial markets, the book was always on my nightstand. I'd flip it open and just start reading. It soothed me.

Over the years it was relegated to a shelf, and then when we moved into the Fordham condo it never made it out of a box. Esme's decorative theme didn't have a place for lowly paperbacks. Alice must have found it when she was repacking my things and had it bound for me, which was kind of odd, but so sweet of her. I traced the beautiful embossing on the cover and then dug my phone out of my bag. I dialed and was connected almost immediately to Alice.

"Hi, Bella! Sucks about your delay." She greeted me.

I didn't want to know if her sixth sense had "told" her about the delay or if she had been stalking my flight on the Internet, so I let her comment go.

"I just wanted to thank you for binding my book, Alice. I love it."

"Oh, well, um, I'm not the one you should thank," she said solemnly.

Confused, I absently thumbed through the book until a flash of emerald green caught my eye. I carefully turned to where the thick ribbon was nestled and felt the fresh tears begin to flow. I read:

_I looked in my heart while the wild swans went over._

_And what did I see I had not seen before?_

_Only a question less or a question more;_

_Nothing to match the flight of wild birds flying._

_Tiresome heart, forever living and dying,_

_House without air, I leave you and lock your door._

_Wild swans, come over the town, come over_

_The town again, trailing your legs and crying!_

It was the last poem from Millay's work _Second April_ entitled "Wild Swans". I knew instantly who had bound the book. Edward.

"Oh, Alice," I whispered.

"I know, sweetie. I wanted to tell you, but he asked me to give it to you as he didn't know when you were leaving. I thought putting it in your bag was best."

"Why would he do this? We haven't said two words to each other in months and then he does _this_? We didn't even say goodbye," I choked out. "I just left. I couldn't manage to say anything. How did this happen, Alice? How did we get here?" I sobbed.

I was drawing attention to myself so I put the book back in the box, placed it in my bag, and headed to the restroom.

"Look, Bella. This is where you both are right now. Neither of you are happy. Selfishly, I love you to death and want you to stay, but you have an amazing opportunity to find yourself. You need to do this. Edward needs this time too." I heard her voice take on a protective, sisterly quality.

"I didn't even say goodbye," I sighed. "Take care of him, Alice."

"I will, sweetie."

Wiping the tears away I tried to pull myself together. "I gotta go, they are going to be calling my flight in a few minutes."

We ended the call with promises to talk soon and I made my way back out to the gate after running a wet paper towel over my face.

My mind kept going back to why Edward had placed the ribbon on that page, on that poem. We used to talk about the irony of Millay, my favorite poet, writing a poem that focused on the bird with the same name as mine. Edward had jokingly called me his _Wild Swan_, but did he actually understand what the poem meant? Was he telling me now that he understood why I had to do this-- why I had to leave and discover who I was-- even though the enormity of that decision meant we were no longer together? That when I looked inside my heart I found nothing? Could he be so understanding of my needs? Why do this now? The small grain of doubt that had been rolling around my mind had worked itself into a pebble, but before I could give it any more thought, the gate agent's voice came over the loud speaker calling for general boarding of my flight. I knew I wouldn't find answers to these questions, and after the day I had experienced I needed to set this aside for now. Whatever Edward's intentions were I would have to worry about it another time. **  
**

I smiled at the agent as my ticket was scanned, and proceeded down the jetway. I had no idea if I'd ever return to Chicago, or if I'd ever see Edward again, but I was spreading my wings. I was going to take flight. I was going to find myself.

~*~

**AN: The reason I didn't fight harder to find a place in the story for that is we'll get a bit of the history in EPOV, so the gist will be in the story, but not from BPOV. I hope it's not terribly indulgent of me to put this up and that you understand a little bit more of the quandry Bella finds herself in.**

**Thanks to the betawives for editing the shit out of this. It's not perfect and that fault lies completely with me.  
**


	2. Email Chain

**AN: This is an email chain in response to Bella's most recent blog post. If you haven't read it, this won't make sense. wildswanwandering (dot) blogspot (dot) com. Rosalie started the chain so the originating email is at the bottom. Annoying? Maybe, and I apologize, but I wanted it to be formatted like a real email. None of the addresses are real and due to FF dot net's symbol fail I had to fake some stuff. Go with it, k? :)  
**

**Like I said in the previous chapter of WILD SWAN nothing will happen on the blog or in these outtakes that will not at least be mentioned in the text of the story. This is just a little more detail and, honestly, it was just a whole lot of fun. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the deleted scene and to mah betawives, rands and EsmeM48.****  
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**~*~**  
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**from Alice ****(aliceATmaryalicedesigns. net)  
**** to Rosalie (rhale-cullenAThale&partners. com)****  
**** date Thurs, July 24th, 2008 at 2:38 PM****  
****subject Re: Fwd: WTF?!**

I'm not mad. I'm just-- I don't know what I am. I'm just still upset about the other night with Edward. We still haven't talked and I know I probably pushed too hard, but he's just rattling around his messy place like Howard Hughes. Seriously, takeout containers and empty alcohol bottles are one thing, but if bottles of pee start lining the walls I'm going to make Jasper and Emmett go and get him out of there. Edward living back home with my mother and father would be a lot better than letting him descend into that kind of nastiness.

If this Felix guy, as hot as he sounds, makes Bella happy-- even though it screams "REBOUND"-- fine. I can't even imagine Edward dating, but I'm sure we'll have to deal with that someday too. GOD DAMN IT--Why couldn't they have just worked everything out, Rose?! Don't bother telling me again how they were both idiots. I know they were and that this is best for both of them, but BLAH... I'm just whining.

I'll come over tomorrow because I was already planning to. :) Speaking of, I don't know how I feel about you and Bella joking about my talent. It's saved your asses more than once, or do I need to remind you about the time both of you thought wearing UGGS would be cute? No, I don't ever plan on letting that die.

Give my nephew a kiss from his Auntie Alice. I'll see you both tomorrow with the treasures of my recent bend at The Land of Nod. No nephew of mine will go unspoiled.

XOXO  
-A

**On Thurs, July 24, 2008 at 12:08 PM, Rosalie (rhale-cullenAThale&partners. com) wrote:**

Alice,

Just read this, OK? I know after our call you were a tad bent about the possibility of Bella meeting someone, but FFS, Alice, she's 30 and divorced. He sounds hot. Don't be mad at her, it will drive her nuts and I'll have to slap you both.

BTW, you need to come over soon to see Joshie's smile. I swear his dimples are going to be as deep as Em's. I'm already aching for another one and this one is only two months old and I just got back in my regular clothes! The shoes are a loss though, which means we need to go shopping. My feet grew a whole fucking size! OK, like I said, read this and deal. Capice?

~R

**---------- Forwarded message ----------****  
****From: Bella Swan (bellaswanATemail. com****)  
****Subject: Re: WTF?!****  
****To: Rose (rhale-cullenAThale&partners. com)****  
****Date: Thursday, July 24th, 2008, 11:47 AM **

Rosalie Lillian Hale-Cullen,

OK, fine. We kissed. It was weird. I've only ever really kissed Edward and it felt totally different, but still pretty good. Fuck! God, Rose, I've only ever had sex with Edward and I'm freaking out. I know Felix is interested. I mean, I've _felt_ that he's interested, but I don't know if I can do it. I sound like a teenager and I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at me and telling me to just do it already, but I don't know if I can. He's so _different_ from Edward. I can't believe I'm going to tell you this, but he's younger than I am. He's 26! I'm a 30 year-old divorcee. Before I knew it, we were on the dinghy going back to shore and then I was on the back of his motorcycle, riding around the island. I had to hold on tight because, Christ, I was sure I was going to fall to my death off the cliff and WOW, does he work out! It was like hugging marble. He got me there just in time. I took the pictures as the sun was setting, and then he took my camera from me, leaned in and kissed me! It truly was like out of a movie and you'll be proud. I kissed back. GAH!

OK, I really do have to go to dinner now and yes, he'll be there. I have no idea what will happen, but I will of course let you know. I haven't heard from Alice and I was sure I would based on the outfit I described. You don't think she's pissed do you? I mean if you figured something was up when I mentioned Felix, I can only assume the little crystal ball did too. Do you think she'll hate me? She's very close to Edward and we never talked about this kind of thing. Crap, he's here. I have to go.

Love you,  
Bella.

P.S. Marianne went to boarding school with Charlotte. They've known each other forever. Kiss the baby for me!!

**On Thurs, July 24, 2008 at 11:31 AM, Rosalie Hale Cullen (rhale-cullenAThale&partners. com) wrote:**

Isabella Marie Swan!

TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FELIX PERSON RIGHT NOW!!! Who is Marianne? How does she know Peter and Charlotte? This Felix? He's her brother? Is he single? You rode on his motorcycle to some remote location to take sunset photos? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Tell me you kissed him! You kissed him, right?! Don't tell me you went all blushy and shit and pulled the shy librarian routine. I'm going to fly out there myself and find out what the hell is going on if you don't email me back right now!

I know you, Bella. I know you're thinking about Edward and how he's your only real experience, but honey, you have to take these kind of chances. That's what this trip was all about-- finding out who you are. Who knows, you might be a raging slut under all that porcelain skin! :P

I expect a reply in no less than 30 minutes before I call your ass!

Love you,  
Rose


	3. Subject: Morocco and Some News

**  
**** from Bella Swan ****(bellaswanATemail. com****)**  
** to Rose ****(rhale-cullenAThale&partners. com)**  
** date Monday, August 11th, 2008 at 4:43 PM****  
****subject Morocco and some news****  
****  
**Hi Rose,

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've emailed. Morocco is amazing, so many sights and smells. The people are beautiful and so kind. My senses are in complete overload. I'm actually in a little internet cafe in Casablanca. Yes, Casablanca. A little cliche, I know, but I made Peter stop here because I had to see it. Do you remember how I used to tease Edward with "Play it again, Sam" when we were in Madison? Edward...I sent him a gift and a letter. Yikes. It was probably stupid, but I swear to you, it was something that I had to do. Hopefully he's received it by now. Let me know if he mentions it, okay?

So, the news portion of this email. It's been eight days since we left Santorini, and we've been sailing at a leisurely pace, but since we left Tunisia three days ago things have been a little strained between Felix and I. In fact, I actually put him on a plane today to Athens. It was all my fault, Rose. I just couldn't get past a few things, well, just one thing really. I'm still not over Edward, or the idea of Edward, or...I don't know, who he was when we were good or...maybe who I was when we were good. I'm a mess.

Felix was great. He _is_ great, but...I was rash in getting involved with him. I was lonely, and he was persistent. That sounds like I'm not taking responsibility for myself and I am, but still, it was too easy to let myself get carried away. I can't deny I was attracted to him, but I realized after our time in Tunis that I was using him as a crutch, and I was not doing what I set out to do-- find myself. I was letting myself get wrapped up in another relationship because that's what I've been used to for my entire adult life.

God, Rose, the sex. It was wonderful and awful at the same time. He obviously knew what he was doing, but I couldn't help comparing him to Edward. Each touch, each kiss. My mind went to Edward and how he would touch me-- when he used to touch me that is-- and how his lips felt on my skin. I would find myself getting angry and sad, and I'd end the night a crying mess, and this poor man was just at a loss as to what my problems were. After I sent Edward his gift (it was a bunch of old sheet music for piano I found in a local market in Santorini) all I could do was think about him. About us. How we went wrong. What could have been different had one of us actually demanded we address things. I blamed him for so much of it, but I'm equally to blame. I let my fear of being unworthy rule me and then we were too far gone and nothing could save us. I knew then that Felix sailing with us was not what would be best for me right now. I need to figure out where my head-- and my heart-- are. It was unfair to make Felix be a part of that, so he flew home today. I'll miss him, but it was necessary.

Please don't say anything to Alice about this. I don't know what she knows, but I really don't want her to know that Felix and I were sleeping together. I'm sure she assumes that; she's been a little testy with me the past few weeks in her e-mails, but I want to tell her what's going on after I can process things. I just had to tell you, bestie. I miss you so much, Rose. I need a little of your snark to bitch slap some sense back into me.

Please kiss my beautiful godson for me. Hi to Emmett, as well.

I love you.  
Bella.


End file.
